Children Dressing In Our Parents' Clothes

It's been a few days.  I have succeeded in being extremely good at distracting myself from doing anything connected with my future by being completely absorbed in watching all 4 seasons of The Office when not working my extremely boring and increasingly irritating job.  I'll have the first 10 episodes of the 5th in about 2 hours. What the heck am I doing. 

I'm beginning to have trouble sleeping again, which is partly why I have been able to watch so much screen lately. If I remember correctly, this is almost the exact same thing that happened near the end of my stay in California, when I watched all 4 seasons of LOST in less than a week, which was as impressive as it was extremely lame. (My actions, not the show). Based on the evidence so far, a lack of sleep and addiction to a TV show is either a sign that I should be moving on soon, or is a result of the fact that I have 'moving on soon' on the mind. Either way, in this case both are probably true. 

I am losing my comfort with being in this place.  For awhile I was extremely comfortable being here, working the job that I still have, frequenting the bar that I used to frequent and living in this town. Now I have become too comfortable, and this makes me quite uncomfortable, if that makes any sense.  When I've been in a place for too long I begin to become numb and apathetic about ever moving on or changing; and this worries me. In fact, it worries me, albeit subconsciously, to the point where I begin to lose large amounts of sleep over the issue, as is the current scenario.  At least this time I have a general idea of where I want to go, and it is nowhere near as far away from my current geographic location as last time.

I would quit my job and move to Lancaster tomorrow if money were not the stupid thing that it is. I just can't afford it until I have a roommate AND a job already lined up to go into. Not too mention the recording that is costing me a much larger percentage of my savings than I'm comfortable with. 

 'Such is the life of an artist'. I would love to feel justified saying that, but as I don't even have a single band member besides myself, and haven't played a show since the Vineyard I feel it would be a tad pretentious. Not to mention that my musical abilities are self-rated very far below the level of 'artist', and as selfish as it is, that's who I'm doing it for anyway: Me. Hopefully the desire was placed in me by G-d and will lead to something worthy of glorifying Him, because I'm spending an awful lot of time and energy on pursuing my 'dreams' in the assumption that it was. 

LORD have mercy.